Hymns from A Winged Archer

There is a small woodedn box hidden in my room. It is no bigger than a mobile phone charger, brown in color, with a painting of Chagall on the lid of the box. Small and hidden it may seem, it contains precious memories of who I was at my truest youth.

[Actual Words and spelling.]

"I know you work hard for everything… so I know naman na you are nice, ang galing mag drawing, etc. It was nice meeting you."
-Kay Martin

"Pre! Don’t change, pare! Salamat sa lahat!"
-Reggie Marasigan

"I think you should be less noisy and more productive because I can see you’re not living up to your capacity. You should also give education more priority… Thanks for everything."
-Your Friend, Ronel

"…Thank you… and sori.. if I hurted your feelings in any way… I know you will find the gorl for you… I hope we can be good friends."
-Jessica Shin

"… A little advice: If you really love this girl, respect her decision."
-Cess

"You are a strong person, Raf..."
-Jasmine

"the good thing about you is that you are mabait, Friendly and funny. The bad is you are makulit and mayabang."
-Mik A.

"Never thought ur a sensible kausap.. hehe. at least, dibuh.. Kala ko kasi dati yabang kah or somethin’ e.. Ur a nice guy naman pala.. kahit deny mo religion moh.. hehe :)"
-Audz Reyes

"Taghana ba naman.."
-Julie

"I ate mango crepe this morning so in terms of happiness, I am indeed happy. Plus, I had a chocolate bar and that made me even happier. I’ve noticed that you’re kinda been quiet lately. Is anything wrong? Anything I can perhaps help you with? Yan. Nahuli ka nanaman ni Mrs. Tolosa. You should have seen yourself. You looked funny."
-Veronica King

"~Ok, pero di kaya ako masyadong mababa for her taste? Like im down here, she’z up there?

~Mahirap eh. Its not that easy enimor pag malyo na un chairs. I do hope naman that I can, but, I don’t want to butt in. You know what I’m getting at naman. bad ang mag interrupt.

~Yah.. but the thing is.. the chair in front of me is often unoccupied.. hayaan mo.. ako gagawa ng paraan.. the question is, do you want to be w/ her sa Prom night?

~DATI PA. Eh.. wil she? T.C.

~That’s one of the things you want to know. Kia nga ask her eh.. dibuh?"
-Correspondence, Raffy and Audz R.

"Raffy.. Yes"
-Veronica King

Before we parted last week, I felt a Kind of peace that I couldn’t explain. Words may fail me.

The one essential thing is that we strive to have light in ourselves.
Our strivings will be recognized by others, and when people have
light in themselves, it will shine out from them. Then we get to know
each other as we walk together in the darkness not needing to pass
our hands over each other’s faces, or to intrude into each other’s hearts.
-Albert Schwertzer

-Salutations Distingues, Veronica

    I put back the lid on top of the tiny treasure chest of memories, of trials and failures, of aquaintances and old friendships, of smiles and heartaches, of who I was and who I will never be again.
   though Yearning for the past, to be pure and unpretentious, even if knowing that day will never come, we keep a box that can never be closed. its called the future.

"Happiness is the risk of attatchment, a gamble, pursued  through means of power, or the utter lack of it."

I’ve been trying to add a  post here  on my blog, around two weeks, about my time in Embassy, a heart ache, a philosophy on mortality, purpose and happiness. For two weeks now… all that eclipsed by what happened tonight…

I was about to leave my grandpa’s place over at project 6, it was already 10pm. I remembered that my aunt from the States, my mom’s younger sister, just arrived a week ago. I opted to stay a bit longer to wait for her. The lights were already closed but there was light peering thru the windows. The doorbell rang, and I hid behind the door, knowing that was her. I haven’t seen her for about 7 years now, not quite sure what she looks like anymore.

The door opened and I tapped my hand on her shoulder, not knowing i was there. She turned around and I saw her.

In the dark,

in the long absence,

she was my mom.

I regained composure and gave her a hug.

She would’ve been my mom’s age when I was eight…

her skin was as clear as her’s.

her voice,

her smile,

her hair.

everything.

I consider my self a rational being; more calculating than most… But i would have cried in that moment.

I miss her.

I envy her daughter.

I envy everyone’ sons and daughters of a mother.

I excused myself and went for the gate to go home. She went with me since she had the key to unlock it.

"I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too", I said…

"You are still a little baby boy to me, always will!"

Touched me as if my mom said it.

My birthday is still a few days from now… I already got what I wished for. A bit of sentimentality and finally able to shed a tear for her.