Hymns from A Winged Archer

hey guys, this is my first post ever but im Going to need your help ASAP. I dound out that there is alot of money in making scripts. I have three. Id be posting the scripts on a nearly daily basis so I need your comments. TY!!!

1st Script:
Action

10 students from either a Highschool or college. 9 boys and a girl. the setting is a big campus.
first, ung kontra bida. Isang Bading na newbie na feeling na teacher na will get killed in the movie.
mga teacher’s pet at mga "cool dudes" sa class na galit sa mga losers at sa mga outcasts. lahat sila mamatay sa end ng story

Bida ay ang nasa barkada. yung girl at ung isang guy sa barkada were caught, during dismissal in the classroom, making out by the gay teacher. And they get expelled.
yung isa sa group, may kahinaan sa pagiisip ngunit proud na proud. Ung teacher na bading, loves to pick on his (her or it) students, especially to this one. Sinabihan siya ng teacher na ang sobrang bobo mo, buti pa wag ka nalang mag aral dahil wala kang kwenta. so he did, but not without anger in his heart. Parang ba si Moose sa Archie?
next naman ang isang Guy  sa barkada na sobrang henyo at kaya niyang utakan ung teacher nilang bading sa classroom, to the point na pinahiya nya ito. because of this he was expelled.
Another group member would be a techy .
Another guy sa group is very good in martial arts.
One of the group members a very reserved person, is an avid student and protige of a philosophy teacher who teaches Arnis (or any sword fighting arts).
this teacher is wise and symathetic to the students, but with a firm arm.

Ok, the story goes….
the couple, the weak minded one, and the smart one were expelled, much to the hollering of their classmates who were with the gay teacher. the remaining guys from the barkada  voiced their discontent to the teacher. because of that, they too were expelled, much to their disbelief and to the jeering of their peers.
Dismayed, the barkada sought revenge, having a personal vendeta on the teacher, but having different reasons for doing so. but knew they could not do anything at the present moment. so they made a pact that they would all go kill the principal, blow up the school and kill all those that mocked them once they all reached the age of 30. they decided that they had to go to military service for that kind of stuff. some went to be soldiers, soldiers of fortune, to be assassins and to be spies.
they all went their separate ways. but before that, the student of the Philo teacher consulted his teacher. he told him that once they become 30, they will spill blood, and those that stand in their way will be killed as well. the teacher said he will not say a word to anyone, but insisted that there are more rational ways to handle it. but the student would not have it any other way. because of that, the teacher said, when that moment will happedn, he personally will stand in his way to fight him.
the time came that they were all 30. there was a grand alumni homecoming in the main hall of the school. their old peers came in with their limos and security escorts for that night. at around 11 pm, the group, equipped in different armamaents, the techy as the tech soldier, the martial artist with close quarters weapons, another with a sniper, etc, made a "HALO" drop at 30ooo ft. they elliminated the top sentries without making any noise, landing in the main courtyard and on top of the building. slowly killing sentry by sentry, they make their way towards the main hall, which is composed of four walls with two doors, east and west; and a glass dome ontop of the hall.

while in the party, sensing danger, the philosophy teacher, a bit older, but just as good, takes his new protige and the gay teacher, who is now the cheif minister and the principal towards the top floor. (the sword dojo leading before the principal’s office). they enter a private elevator which leads them straight to the top.

just as they leave, the compound loses electricity and everything is pitch black. then, gunfire erupts , bullets heading towards the center of the hall, a few of the celebrities in the hall were able to scramble and hide in some of the neighboring rooms with their guards. but the rest fall like cut rice in the hail of gunfire. a gun fight the ensues but the bodyguards are beaten back to leave their masters fallen. those that were left alive in the room asked for mercy. they were shot at the temple. (the fight sequence is in my head, ang lupet!!!) they hunt down the remaining people that escaped the initial wave of gunfire. ( note, they couldnt leave the compound because of a sniper)
they placed their bombs at strategic locations no make it go boom.
the couple that were expelled went to their old classrooms, undressed their tight leather gear and had wild sex, while the guards that enturrupt every now and then, are shot, while they are cumming and moaning. the stealth assassin uses his blades and skill to dissmember the parties that try to retake the facilty with their own fire arms. (basta, daming gun fight scenes and killing.)

they then make their way up the escalator and just as the first member came rushing passed the dojo, a sword came flying passed his head, almost hitting the head. the a voice said, "you have to kill me first, remember?" with a grin, his former protige said he will fight him in equal terms. in a sword showdown. (ala samurai x) another voice said, behind the philo teacher, " I will handle him for you… its only right that you see who is the better protige.."
there is a cool sound track for this fight scene.. slipknot, "my plague". the former student slashes the 17 yr old protige in a very good fight.
the teacher then faces his former student. he proves to be way better than his former protige. in a long battle scene, the student kills the teacher, though gravely injured, by passing his teacher’s sword through the middle of his hand, effectively catching it for a mil second, then the student,passing his sword through his same broken arm, kills the teacher, sticking his sword on the wall together with his teacher na "nakalambitin".
they then dismember the principal, taking off his fingers one by one, cutting his limbs before strapping him to a C4 belt and taking a "class photo" with  the barkada.
the old student could not escape with them any more because he is gravely injured and the sniper could not take the additional influx of police entering the front gates.
while the old student came to meet the police at the front gate, with the detonator at hand, the remaining 9 escaped through the sewer tunnels, heading towards a river or bay.
the last member then blows himself up, together with the police, the school, the corpses of his peers and teachers. they  all lived happily ever after!!! hehehhe

Soundtrack: Slipknot, mudvain, disturbed, kittie and so much more!!! (",) comments an suggestions please!!!